In the past, I learned things the hard way. I had to walk through the river and get my shoes soaking wet before realizing that the footbridge was probably the better, dryer option. A sort of hypothermia-driven why-did-I-do-that would really drive the point home. Personal testimonies from the experienced fell on deaf ears and typically meant nothing. It's not that I was too proud or didn't care about what others said, just that I had a skull so thick that I couldn't grasp a lesson without tumbling down the hard, longer path first. On the bright side, I think this quality was the result of being financially on my own since a young age, constantly relocating in my twenties, experiencing ridiculous consumer debt and (and then digging myself out of it alone), and generally never settling down. Let's go with that version instead of the likely truth: I was a dangerous combination of strong-willed and glaringly naive. (Inner critic: "Was, Clare?")
A friend recently sent me his resume and asked me to look it over for a position he really wants. He prefaced the e-mail attachment with, "There's no way I'm going to get the job." I replied, "Definitely not with that attitude." If you can't make yourself believe that you belong in a company, that you are needed, how are you even going to interview? It's not about acting or selling. It's about carrying yourself confidently because you believe in yourself.
...I'm not really one to talk. My work self esteem tends to hang on the low side. I have been at my new job for a little over a month now. It was exhilarating (and to be real, terrifying) to go from a safe government position where I held no authority and my every move was micro-managed by three other people to a managerial position within a company where independence and hustle is encouraged. I'm still getting the lay of the land but I'm loving every minute of it. My biggest takeaway so far is that I'm only as qualified as I believe. I work with a group of people that are determined to never work for anyone else in their lives: entrepreneurs. It's inspiring but staggering.
I'm deeply critical of myself so it's easy to wander off into worst case scenario daydreams but I'm not going to learn to how to have the best job I've ever had the hard way. I love where I am now so I will move forward. I will work hard, push, never give up, and be grateful. I don't say a lot of loving things about myself, but a strong work ethic is just in my nature. I believe in me.
