Glamorizing the Other Side of the Fence

Shannon is one of my best friends from high school and even though we don't live in the same town anymore, I still manage to scrape up bits of her wisdom whenever I can.

We were talking recently about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. I told her that I've been feeling guilty and torn about my lack of a biological clock. I have zero desire to have a baby, or even squeeze them when I see them. In general, children can smell my fear and stay far, far away from me. The fact that I refer to anyone under twelve years old as a "fraggle" should be indicative of my extremely limited understanding of them.

Shannon got married in 2005 and has two daughters, one only a couple of months old. I confided in her that I sometimes envy her domestic life of wedded bliss and motherhood. She runs her own small business selling her homemade, natural products and works from home. She responded by saying she sometimes envies my life. Wait...what? I'm a happy person but I don't often stop to realize how my daily routine is perceived by others. Sometimes I view my life as not as far along as it should be in terms of life milestones. However, Shannon sees my non-married, full-time workin', happy hourin', travelin', staying up late and answerin' to no one life as fun. What a concept! It's truly something to keep in mind.

It's so easy to glamorize the other side of the fence. I imagine only the positive things in her life. She imagines the same for mine. I told her, "I just want to know what's over there!" and she replied, "Well...lots of laundry, butt-wiping, cooking, cleaning, and listening to children whine." We both laughed. My glamorous life isn't so glamorous either.

I've been doing this for years. Other sides of fences I've glamorized:

1) Being done with college.
I'm proud of my degree and have finally settled into a full-time job that I love (after a few that I really didn't). That said, I often reflect on those days when my only obligations were a few hours of work per day and getting to class. Why did I want to rush through those years? I work on campus now and deal with the occasional pangs of jealousy when I see young people moving in flocks through their academic days. This seems to be a universal sentiment as my friend Elaine recently tweeted this:

2) Being employed in a non-restaurant job.
It's true, I still wait tables one night a week. I have a love affair with the restaurant industry that I can't seem to kick and the extra cash doesn't hurt either. For awhile after college graduation, my only income was the restaurant job I was working at the time. I ended up landing a position at the local newspaper in my college town and after two months of working it full-time, I was totally miserable. Eventually I asked my supervisor to cut my hours to part-time and went back to the restaurant. I'd made the huge mistake of obligating myself to a "real job" directly after college and thought it didn't matter what kind of job as long as it was more "respectable" than a restaurant job. Lame. Who cares what I preferred at the time? I'm the one living my life and clocking in every day. It should be up to me where I do it.

3) Moving out of my college town.
Life was going to be so much Better and Beautiful if I could just move to Boulder. And I did, in 2007. But it wasn't improved by any means. Location is everything but I was in an unhealthy relationship and it took me ages to form friendships here because I felt so unlike myself every day. Before I moved here, I was wishing my life away and not enjoying the moment. These days I miss my little college town, the same one I felt trapped within a few years ago.
I would love to hear fence perspectives from other people. My conclusion? It's not greener on either side. It's how you keep up your own lawn. Now go water it!